Justine – Hand on Heart

Justine

I hoped to show a heart that is joyful but that has and continues to struggle. There are things that bring peace and joy but it has been through a lot. This has left its mark over the years!

When creating my sculpture, I was focused on showing the negatives. These have filled my days for a very long time and feel ingrained in who I am as a person.

I feel or have felt under constant pressure from others, the world and even myself whether as a mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend or employee wishing time could stand still so i could catch up with life. As a result I feel stressed nearly constantly and try desperately to struggle through and hold it all together.

My heart is a functional pump, an organ but it is my center mass, my feelings, emotions and the sensitive aspect to me. It is easy to hurt me, I feel too strongly, care too much. There is the worry that its time is limited, that i can’t keep all of that inside, there isn’t space. Or perhaps the strong family history of heart disease may mean it fails me in the not too distant future. It feels that at any point something could light that fuse.

But I am trying to mend, knit back together, rebuild, reimagine, reinvent continuously. I always keep persevering, attempting to heal from past traumas. I long to feel well, complete, whole, “Normal”, properly functioning in all the realms I need to be.

Throughout the creative process, it evolved. I planned to add a rope to constrain and show it bulging around but it took away from the other features. Reflecting on the final piece, I feel it seems more uplifting and positive than intended but perhaps that shows how much hope I have when I think of the things that bring me joy, Nature, Awe, Wildlife, family.

My creative side is positive and hopeful, despite everything.

Hand on Heart was intended for us to create a piece being true to ourselves and in the process I have learnt more about myself and where I am actually now mentally rather than where I thought I was.

I felt stuck and perhaps I need to be more aware of just how much progress I have made.